The Nature of ‘Should’

I’m beginning to see that when the word should enters my mind, I actually have the power to do that thing. For instance, if I say to myself, “I should go to bed at a decent hour.” all I have to do is actually go to bed at what is a decent hour for me. I tried this the other day and found that despite my tendency towards racing thoughts, I was fast asleep shortly after I went to bed.

Furthermore I’ve noticed that should rarely pops up in an unrealistic context. “I should be a fighter pilot. I should be able to compute quantum physics.” Indeed I could do those things. Or maybe could have. But it’s not often that should plays into it.

So what about larger issues? “I should be in a better place in life by now.” Well… maybe I should. So if that sentence lines up with what I believe the average is, then there’s really nothing stopping me. If the average includes me, then I’m endowed with all the tools and gifts necessary to get there. Otherwise I’m above or below average; In which case the average does not apply to me, and I therefore should not belong.

Now we have to remove the ultimate tool in the procrastinators kit.. I will.

When was the last time you read out a plan to yourself and said, “I will do A. Then after that I will do B.” I’ve never done that. I don’t know anyone who has. Instruction manuals don’t instruct that you will do something. Simply “Do A. Good… Now do B.” There’s a sense (if not an outright implication) of getting it the fuck done already. “DO A…. Is A done yet? No? DO A until it’s done. A is done? Good! Now DO B.” And so on until what you should is what you are.

“I should do the dishes.” How about I get off my caboose and spend the time actually doing the dishes in stead of using that time to tell myself I should.

“I should do the dishes… meh, I will do them tomorrow.” No I fucking won’t. Something else will come up and I’ll say, “I should have done the dishes yesterday.”

How about, “I plan to do the dishes tomorrow.”? Did I? Did I actually carve out a plan to do my dishes tomorrow? I’ll bet if I did, step one was, “Get up and go do the dishes.”

OK — What about should not? Well if I believe I should not be doing something. STOP! Do something that maybe I should be doing! And there’s a slight semantic situation there; If I should not be doing something, it’s all too likely that I BETTER NOT be doing it.

So I keep going back to the idea that the nature of should is my brains way of telling me that I currently have the time to act. It suggests there’s a tradeoff at hand. Do something about the should that’s crossing my mind, or do nothing and ponder it to death. But it’s not really to death, is it? Should keeps it alive in my mind as a reminder of yet one more thing I didn’t do. And to be sure, acting alone may not be the solution altogether… but it’s a damn fine start.